alone and lonely

Over the past 2 years, 4 months, and 10 days,
one thing has definitely become different.
I used to be with my friends or family all the time
or...
at least...
him. he used to be always there by my side
never had to eat a single meal out alone
and never liked to either

I guess I no longer have that choice
or that luxury...
Had countless lonely meals...
Went to the hot bath alone many times recently...
watching old and young couples there
enjoying the bath together
massaging each other
friends there chatting together
but I was alone...

did i survive?

better than I ever would have thought...