ここにしか咲かない花

何も無い場所だけれど
ここにしか咲かない花がある
心にくくりつけた荷物を
静かに降ろせる場所
空の色映し出した
瑠璃(るり)色の海 遥かから聞こえる
あなたの笑い声は
よく聴けば 波の音でした

寂しさ隠せずにいるなら
一人になればいい
囁(ささや)くほどの声で呼んでいるのは
いつも 同じ名前

あの優しかった場所は今でも
変らずに 僕を待ってくれていますか?
最後まで笑顔で 何度も振り返り
遠ざかる姿に 唇 噛み締めた
(笑顔で)(手を振り)
今はこみ上げる 寂寞(せきばく)の思いに
潤んだ世界を 拭ってくれる
指先を 待っている

影が教えてくれるのは
そこにある悲しみだけじゃない
うつむく顔を上げて振り返れば
そこにある光に気付くだろう

同じ数の出会いと別れ
でも割り切れなくて
余るほどの想い出をいつまでも
胸に咲かせながら

雨上がりの道は泥濘(ぬか)るむけれど
今ここに 生きている証を刻むよ
どうかこの涙を しおれかけの花に
喜びの彼方でもう一度咲けるように
(この涙を)(心に)
願いは海風に 吹かれて大空へ
やがて小さな 虹をわたるよ何いつの日か
その足で

ここにしか咲かない花
ここにしか吹かない風
ここでしか聴けない歌
ここでしか見えないもの
ここにしか咲かない花
ここにしか吹かない風

あの優しかった場所は今でも
変らずに 僕を待ってくれていますか?
ふいに込み上げる 寂寞(せきばく)の想いに
潤んだ世界を拭ってくれる
(こみ上げる)(想いに)
雨上がりの道は泥濘(ぬか)るむけれど
今ここに 生きている証を刻むよ
いつかこの涙も 寂寞(せきばく)の想いも
忘れ去られそうな時代の傷跡も
(この涙も)(想いも)
燦然(さんぜん)と輝く
あけもどろの中に 風が運んで 星にかわる
そんな日を 待っている

It's been 6 months!

I can't believe it myself...
6 months of a new life...a great experience that I cannot measure with time or any unit.
if it wasn't for the change, I would have never had the courage to leave my job...and to look for something new.
Still in the process of looking, but at least I know I will get somewhere different soon...
It was an amazing 6 months...and still counting...
I don't know what it is I have done to deserve what I have now
but definitely I will do all I can to keep it the way it is,
as I don't think I am lucky enough to find this twice.

It is tough sometimes...
there are always two sides to everything.
But all of it is worth it.

This time I am really giving my all...which is something I haven't fully accomplished before.
This is the first and last time.

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." -
-- Mark Twain

Surprise surprise

What a change in life...
After a golden week full of hot baths, errands, badminton, and swimming,
I'm gonna have a new life for 3 months!
It's gonna be different, it's gonna be real.
We won't be on vacation like we always were when we met.
We will have stress from work, feel exhausted from being in Tokyo.
But I have a feeling this change will make everything better.
I can't wait!
I guess if you want something really bad,
and you think about it really hard,
someone, either God or your boss,
will grant it to you.
Even just for a short time =)

The Philippines revisited

The Phils is definitely not the country that people would relate "heaven" to...
With all the pollution, poverty, natural disasters, and chaos, you would not believe that it has such a beautiful side to it...
March 2007. Bohol. Balicasag Dive. Tarsier. Chocolate Hills. Mango Shakes. Boracay. Angol Point, Coral Garden, Crocodile Island, Friday's Rock dive. Beach breakfasts. Mango Shakes. Sunshine. Henna Tattoos. Greek food. Pool. The Blue. Did I mention Mango Shakes??

Arriving in a small but nice plane


The Chocolate Hills that resulted from Corals that used to be in the sea 2 million years ago


And...the Tarsier! Such a cute little creature, but must be very stupid because its brain is even smaller than its eye!


Boracay


Boracay Sunset


My Tattoo and a sleepy dog...but seems like all the dogs are constantly sleepy on Boracay! ^^


In the process of getting my Open Water!


In the middle of a school of fish ^^

Tired....

Feels like I've done lots this weekend...
had a busy saturday, then went to the hotspring as usual...
but this week, finally, a good movie is up...
so I went and watched The Guardian til 3 in the morning!
On Sunday, I went swimming and played badminton....
and guess what? on monday, I did exactly the same thing, only reversed!
but now that I am home from all that...
I feel exhausted...can't do much now...not even eating @@
Guess I will just take a bath and crash....
Is it really a good thing to make yourself so exhausted?!
I wonder...

I can swim I can swim I can swim I can swim!!!

Ever since Naoko, my swimming teacher, left Japan for PEI,
I've stopped trying to learn to swim..just cuz it's so hard to find an english-speaking teacher here...
but this monday, i decided to go to the pool by myself...
here is my progress this week!
Monday: 20 x 25m... out of which...about half were done with a board doing crawl...a few trying breaststrokes...too slow...and the other ones without a board doing crawl...could go probably 15m the farthest...which I was happy about cuz it used to be 5m max...
Wednesday: 24 x 25m... out of which... a little less than half were done with a board doing crawl... gave up on breaststrokes for the time being... the rest without a board...and succeeded 3 times doing 25m! ^^
Friday: 25 x 25m... out of which, 3 ways with a board, and the rest without, doing crawl... and this time, I succeeded 17 times doing 25m end to end! at the end, I really wanted to do a few more, but I didnt have time anymore...
but I've gotta keep going until I can feel totally comfortable with crawl...and hopefully Naoko will come back soon to see what she has done! ^^
Woohoo!

2006的最後一天

放假放了幾天
也不知道在忙什麼
第一天早上打完球就跟朋友吃完怪怪的法式午餐
之後還一起去溜冰！
上一次溜大概是十年前的事吧
一開始很緊張，因為上次真的還不會
而且會一直跌倒
但神奇的這次卻沒有跌倒
雖然腿很累，但很好玩！
因為前一天的累
第二天決定去一個很棒的spa
看到了日落前後的富士山







































昨天出去買snowboard的襪子
因為明天要去我這輩子弟二次的滑雪
有點怕又有點緊張
希望這次會左轉就好了
可怕可怕!~~~~~~~~

但今天晚上還是要party！
所以會去一個叫Yebisu Sound的party
迎接我不太歡迎的2007...
明天再去滾雪山！＞＜

你好嗎？

滑雪去了
一定很好玩吧？
從回來之後就很多事情
而且最近一大堆聖誕，忘年會的
沒有像之前那麼常掛在網上
你考試的期間一定累壞了
不過一定會考的很好的
等過一下下再告訴我吧！
聖誕快樂！

回家

十一月中回溫哥華十天和家人一聚
也跟幾個朋友會面
娃娃當然是最可愛的一個啦！
一開始好害羞
什麼話都不說
也不笑
但到最後終於願意講話的時候就好可愛哦
愛死她了^^

除了她，也跟一兩個朋友去喝個茶，聊個天
但每天都陪著我的，當然是他
我們常去打球，逛街，還有吃我最喜歡的鹽酥雞飯
我喜歡跟他吃飯時，把肉給他吃
我喜歡吃飯還有旁邊的小菜
也喜歡他不會拒絕我的樣子
他也來了我家跟我和我爸打乒乓球
跟我家一起吃飯
我們一起去了西雅圖逛街
一大早就出們，所以不到三個小時就到了
回來的時候，卻塞了好久好久
不過沒關係，那給了我們時間聊天
那天他帶了毛毯給我
毛毯上有pink的味道
在某個盒子的地方
我知道他在說什麼的
也大概知道他在想什麼
每次跟他見面都有一樣的感覺
很開心
我可以很自然的做我自己
偶爾野蠻一點他也不會生氣
明知道該怎麼做
卻還沒有辦法做得到

It was great afterall...
just made me think lots...that's all.

Just wait...
when I'm ready.

Tournament and badminton

Played a couple of tournaments recently...and the result?
very close games, but lost....
I wonder which is better....
to lose just by a little bit against someone at the same level, or to be beaten by someone too too strong for me...?
I have no idea, but the first case was what happened....
and I got so mad at myself...for being too nervous and therefore making mistakes that I would not usually make...
so after the tournament, I played for the whole day...to practice, and to see what level I am at...
and I am so sure that I was so much better when i wasnt in the tournament than when I was.........
damn...
not good...
gotta remember...down down down....
relax...
no worries...

well... good thing is it's finally mid november!!
which means I get to go back to Vancouver for the first time in 2 years!!
yay!!!
badminton gathering on friday should be good...
and should be much easier than today's games @@

new guy today at badminton...seems nice...
his name is maomao...
doesnt play well though @@
looks are deceiving...
definitely true....
and met the guys again...which is nice....

tetsu has a gf already! it's only been a month or so since the last time i met him!
and the cool guy's name is actually Ken! my god....
funny but I actually really wanted to meet them....mmmmmm

Still living in the past

This is terrible...it really is...
I am not really doing anything with my life to move forward
I am not putting in any effort to make myself better
I am spending to much time thinking about the past
wanting to go back in time...
Not a good sign...
I should really give myself a limit
It's gonna be a busy two months so I will let myself go
but I must discipline myself to do these things next year:
Create my portfolio
Save money
Find a dtp related job in asia
Go back to swimming
You can do it, Jan...

In Memory of my Banana Republic Sandals

Have you ever owned anything that you developed a "relationship" with?
I don't do that often
but I have definitely developed a connection with a pair of thongs I had.
I got them a few years ago from Vancouver Downtown's Banana Republic.
They had green leather insoles and pink plastic outsoles...super comfy...
and therefore, I wore them soooo often that they died today officially...
They have taken me to sooooo many places, including but not limited to:
Whistler with the 6 brothers
several BBQs at Barnet Marine Park
SFU
Metrotown shopping
Downtown walks
Tokyo walks
Several beaches
Kyoto with Jer and his friends
Hakone
Fukushima volcano and round1
..................
...............
............
.........
......
...
.
I loved them...but..byebye...
I guess this marks the end of a certain period of my life.

Smell and Music

Finally... Japan has cooled down
and with that, the air has become drier...almost crisp...
so tonight, I had to put on some body lotion...
I used the gift from Lucy...a body lotion with the fragrance of freesia,
a kind of iris.
It was something I used to put on all the time...
so the fragrance was associated to so many...
so many events and people...
Incidentally I was listening to some old music
Those I used to listen to back home
Along with the smell on my body,
they reminded me of all the time I spent with them...
in Bonnie's basement, with him sitting on the floor;
in that Subaru impreza;
in Pearl;
in Cameron;
with Kitty annoying me;
behind the seatbelt with mashimaru;
in Big Head;
too much memories...
Then I started crying...
and couldn't stop for a while...
Why though?
It's not like they were bad memories...
I think I just couldn't bear the fact that I will never be able to go back to relive that time.
I also blame it on the music and the fragrance...
but I didn't wash it off...
I loved the smell and still do...
because of it,
I will always remember those days..

(as long as Crabtree & Evelyn exists!!! :-p)

I don't like this

Damn...
I hate being influenced so easily...
by the weather, by the people around me,
by work, by everything...
Can't I just care less?
wouldn't that make things much simpler?
It really would but I can't control myself.
Looking into the psychology of some patients...of a kind of disease that I have been interested in since a couple of years back,
I now understand why that kind of disease persists.
Especially in girls.
It is because girls often have few chances to take charge in their lives.
They get affected by their relationships easily because they often put in 101% of their hearts.
They become emotional during "that time of the month".
Heck, they can even get angry more easily just because they are hungry.
With all these factors in their lives affecting them endlessly
With no control over it whatsoever
No wonder people choose the extreme way to gain control.
I would never ever become a psychologist or counselor but
it just gets more and more interesting as the reason becomes more and more apparent.
I would never ever choose that path but
What can I do?
I wish no one would ever have any influence on me
so I can just be myself.

The Lockup and Round1

Sis and her boyfriend arrived 2 days ago!! yay!! ^^
on the first night, because of their flight and lots of walking
we went to the hot bath at night...
it was greeeeaaaaaaaaaat because of the cool weather...

and last night, I decided to give them a little surprise...
before going to Round1,
we went to The Lockup!
This is a prison theme restaurant with waitresses dressed as policewomen,
waiters dressed as prisoners,
weirdly named cocktails in chemical lab flasks and test tubes,
super spicy food as punishment,
our dinner tables in prison cells,
and a really cool performance by super tall people dressed as mummies, prison escapees, and crazy monsters.

At around 11pm, the whole restaurant went dark, and heavy metal music began to play...
the mummies, monsters, and prisoners start running around and scaring the hell out of the people in each cell...
including my sis of course!!!!!!
wahahaha....
it was so much fun to see their reaction... ^_~
such a great place ...hehe..

氣氣氣

有沒有被氣到完全沒有心情?
被氣到面無表情？
今天晚上的我就是這樣..
啊~~~~~~~~~~~~><
我快瘋掉了...
看來真的該快點作個改變了
但是改變什麼呢？

Ruri no shima

One beautiful drama, Ruri no Shima, or Ruri's Island
taken place on one beautiful island, Hatomajima,a tiny island in southern Japan
and a wonderful song by Kobukuro-Koko ni shika sakanai hana
got my eyes wet all through the 10 episodes...

Love conquers all,
So does courage.

真是拿你沒辦法

看連續劇時再次的聽到了這句話
已經好久沒有人對我說這句話了
沒辦法生我的氣
沒辦法對我兇
不能勉強我做我不想做的事
不能不對我心軟
沒辦法離開我
但還是愛我
這樣的人
實際上沒有過幾個
以後也應該是沒有那個福氣再遇上
這樣願意寵我的人了
是吧...

Alex To-love you so much

It's been a long time, but Alex still rocks!!

Alex To-marry me