2006的最後一天

放假放了幾天
也不知道在忙什麼
第一天早上打完球就跟朋友吃完怪怪的法式午餐
之後還一起去溜冰！
上一次溜大概是十年前的事吧
一開始很緊張，因為上次真的還不會
而且會一直跌倒
但神奇的這次卻沒有跌倒
雖然腿很累，但很好玩！
因為前一天的累
第二天決定去一個很棒的spa
看到了日落前後的富士山







































昨天出去買snowboard的襪子
因為明天要去我這輩子弟二次的滑雪
有點怕又有點緊張
希望這次會左轉就好了
可怕可怕!~~~~~~~~

但今天晚上還是要party！
所以會去一個叫Yebisu Sound的party
迎接我不太歡迎的2007...
明天再去滾雪山！＞＜

你好嗎？

滑雪去了
一定很好玩吧？
從回來之後就很多事情
而且最近一大堆聖誕，忘年會的
沒有像之前那麼常掛在網上
你考試的期間一定累壞了
不過一定會考的很好的
等過一下下再告訴我吧！
聖誕快樂！

回家

十一月中回溫哥華十天和家人一聚
也跟幾個朋友會面
娃娃當然是最可愛的一個啦！
一開始好害羞
什麼話都不說
也不笑
但到最後終於願意講話的時候就好可愛哦
愛死她了^^

除了她，也跟一兩個朋友去喝個茶，聊個天
但每天都陪著我的，當然是他
我們常去打球，逛街，還有吃我最喜歡的鹽酥雞飯
我喜歡跟他吃飯時，把肉給他吃
我喜歡吃飯還有旁邊的小菜
也喜歡他不會拒絕我的樣子
他也來了我家跟我和我爸打乒乓球
跟我家一起吃飯
我們一起去了西雅圖逛街
一大早就出們，所以不到三個小時就到了
回來的時候，卻塞了好久好久
不過沒關係，那給了我們時間聊天
那天他帶了毛毯給我
毛毯上有pink的味道
在某個盒子的地方
我知道他在說什麼的
也大概知道他在想什麼
每次跟他見面都有一樣的感覺
很開心
我可以很自然的做我自己
偶爾野蠻一點他也不會生氣
明知道該怎麼做
卻還沒有辦法做得到

It was great afterall...
just made me think lots...that's all.

Just wait...
when I'm ready.

Tournament and badminton

Played a couple of tournaments recently...and the result?
very close games, but lost....
I wonder which is better....
to lose just by a little bit against someone at the same level, or to be beaten by someone too too strong for me...?
I have no idea, but the first case was what happened....
and I got so mad at myself...for being too nervous and therefore making mistakes that I would not usually make...
so after the tournament, I played for the whole day...to practice, and to see what level I am at...
and I am so sure that I was so much better when i wasnt in the tournament than when I was.........
damn...
not good...
gotta remember...down down down....
relax...
no worries...

well... good thing is it's finally mid november!!
which means I get to go back to Vancouver for the first time in 2 years!!
yay!!!
badminton gathering on friday should be good...
and should be much easier than today's games @@

new guy today at badminton...seems nice...
his name is maomao...
doesnt play well though @@
looks are deceiving...
definitely true....
and met the guys again...which is nice....

tetsu has a gf already! it's only been a month or so since the last time i met him!
and the cool guy's name is actually Ken! my god....
funny but I actually really wanted to meet them....mmmmmm

Still living in the past

This is terrible...it really is...
I am not really doing anything with my life to move forward
I am not putting in any effort to make myself better
I am spending to much time thinking about the past
wanting to go back in time...
Not a good sign...
I should really give myself a limit
It's gonna be a busy two months so I will let myself go
but I must discipline myself to do these things next year:
Create my portfolio
Save money
Find a dtp related job in asia
Go back to swimming
You can do it, Jan...

In Memory of my Banana Republic Sandals

Have you ever owned anything that you developed a "relationship" with?
I don't do that often
but I have definitely developed a connection with a pair of thongs I had.
I got them a few years ago from Vancouver Downtown's Banana Republic.
They had green leather insoles and pink plastic outsoles...super comfy...
and therefore, I wore them soooo often that they died today officially...
They have taken me to sooooo many places, including but not limited to:
Whistler with the 6 brothers
several BBQs at Barnet Marine Park
SFU
Metrotown shopping
Downtown walks
Tokyo walks
Several beaches
Kyoto with Jer and his friends
Hakone
Fukushima volcano and round1
..................
...............
............
.........
......
...
.
I loved them...but..byebye...
I guess this marks the end of a certain period of my life.

Smell and Music

Finally... Japan has cooled down
and with that, the air has become drier...almost crisp...
so tonight, I had to put on some body lotion...
I used the gift from Lucy...a body lotion with the fragrance of freesia,
a kind of iris.
It was something I used to put on all the time...
so the fragrance was associated to so many...
so many events and people...
Incidentally I was listening to some old music
Those I used to listen to back home
Along with the smell on my body,
they reminded me of all the time I spent with them...
in Bonnie's basement, with him sitting on the floor;
in that Subaru impreza;
in Pearl;
in Cameron;
with Kitty annoying me;
behind the seatbelt with mashimaru;
in Big Head;
too much memories...
Then I started crying...
and couldn't stop for a while...
Why though?
It's not like they were bad memories...
I think I just couldn't bear the fact that I will never be able to go back to relive that time.
I also blame it on the music and the fragrance...
but I didn't wash it off...
I loved the smell and still do...
because of it,
I will always remember those days..

(as long as Crabtree & Evelyn exists!!! :-p)

I don't like this

Damn...
I hate being influenced so easily...
by the weather, by the people around me,
by work, by everything...
Can't I just care less?
wouldn't that make things much simpler?
It really would but I can't control myself.
Looking into the psychology of some patients...of a kind of disease that I have been interested in since a couple of years back,
I now understand why that kind of disease persists.
Especially in girls.
It is because girls often have few chances to take charge in their lives.
They get affected by their relationships easily because they often put in 101% of their hearts.
They become emotional during "that time of the month".
Heck, they can even get angry more easily just because they are hungry.
With all these factors in their lives affecting them endlessly
With no control over it whatsoever
No wonder people choose the extreme way to gain control.
I would never ever become a psychologist or counselor but
it just gets more and more interesting as the reason becomes more and more apparent.
I would never ever choose that path but
What can I do?
I wish no one would ever have any influence on me
so I can just be myself.

The Lockup and Round1

Sis and her boyfriend arrived 2 days ago!! yay!! ^^
on the first night, because of their flight and lots of walking
we went to the hot bath at night...
it was greeeeaaaaaaaaaat because of the cool weather...

and last night, I decided to give them a little surprise...
before going to Round1,
we went to The Lockup!
This is a prison theme restaurant with waitresses dressed as policewomen,
waiters dressed as prisoners,
weirdly named cocktails in chemical lab flasks and test tubes,
super spicy food as punishment,
our dinner tables in prison cells,
and a really cool performance by super tall people dressed as mummies, prison escapees, and crazy monsters.

At around 11pm, the whole restaurant went dark, and heavy metal music began to play...
the mummies, monsters, and prisoners start running around and scaring the hell out of the people in each cell...
including my sis of course!!!!!!
wahahaha....
it was so much fun to see their reaction... ^_~
such a great place ...hehe..

氣氣氣

有沒有被氣到完全沒有心情?
被氣到面無表情？
今天晚上的我就是這樣..
啊~~~~~~~~~~~~><
我快瘋掉了...
看來真的該快點作個改變了
但是改變什麼呢？

Ruri no shima

One beautiful drama, Ruri no Shima, or Ruri's Island
taken place on one beautiful island, Hatomajima,a tiny island in southern Japan
and a wonderful song by Kobukuro-Koko ni shika sakanai hana
got my eyes wet all through the 10 episodes...

Love conquers all,
So does courage.

真是拿你沒辦法

看連續劇時再次的聽到了這句話
已經好久沒有人對我說這句話了
沒辦法生我的氣
沒辦法對我兇
不能勉強我做我不想做的事
不能不對我心軟
沒辦法離開我
但還是愛我
這樣的人
實際上沒有過幾個
以後也應該是沒有那個福氣再遇上
這樣願意寵我的人了
是吧...

Alex To-love you so much

It's been a long time, but Alex still rocks!!

Alex To-marry me

A Date...avec moi!

Saturday night...
I had no one to attend to
no one to wait for
no one to look forward to
but when Nao asked me if I could stay after work to do an interview
I still insisted I had to go.
I had to be somewhere, I said.
I had a plan, I said.
It was true...
although no one was waiting for me,
I had a saturday night plan with myself.
that's right...
I went to the hot spring after work
It was great...
very relaxing and a perfect way to end a work week
then I met Superman!
Went to a very late show at the cinema that started at midnight...
Superman Returns was a very long movie that brought my date to an end at 3 am.
It was very exciting...so it kinda gave me a neckache cuz I was too stiff when i was watching it ><...
there was no rush
no arguments
no worries about my appearance
(although I did make sure still that I looked good)(^_~)

so the next date should come up soon....^^

Just for Satoshi! (^_~)

This is the band I told you about...I loved one of the female trombone players...she was so cool! check it out ^^

if you click on the albums and find the first album, u can listen to clips of a few of the songs...^_~

alone and lonely

Over the past 2 years, 4 months, and 10 days,
one thing has definitely become different.
I used to be with my friends or family all the time
or...
at least...
him. he used to be always there by my side
never had to eat a single meal out alone
and never liked to either

I guess I no longer have that choice
or that luxury...
Had countless lonely meals...
Went to the hot bath alone many times recently...
watching old and young couples there
enjoying the bath together
massaging each other
friends there chatting together
but I was alone...

did i survive?

better than I ever would have thought...

夢

做了一個夢
夢裡，他寫了一封很長很長的信，
加上回憶全部寄到我的信箱來了
信箱突然變的好大
但還是塞滿了
我把重重的回憶包裹和信一起拿回家了

信裡面是什麼內容，
我還沒有來得及看就逃離了那個夢

還好我醒來了
我不想看到那封信
我不想知到裡面寫什麼
我永遠都不要丟掉我們的過去

不懂

總是抵擋不住誘惑
每次都以為可以控制
但看到了手就會不知不覺的去要
去嘗試著抓住
然後想據為己有

原來這種感覺不但適用於男人和女人
還可以用來形容甜點，巧克力，and 鑽石^^

Urayasu

Urayasu Yumeguri Mangekyo in Chiba is the place I went to last week on my day off...
It was such a great place with an area indoors that stimulates the style of Japan in the Edo era...In that building, you can enjoy Japanese food and some games and shopping in the yukata of your choice...
Outside in the swimsuit zone, you can enjoy natural hotsprings with your friends and your loved ones...
Of course, there is also a naked bath area.
In the naked bath zone, there are various baths with healing aromas or special effects; herbal fragrance, chinese herbs for healing purpose, collagen bath for the skin, etc...

It was such a quiet place too! One of the best places around tokyo...

Ya...it's impossible

He was right...
It is impossible to satisfy all parties when I make a decision...
but what if i did something that disregards certain people,
those who are not as important to me as others are...
would I be blamed? should I be blamed?

Yes, I think I would...or i was already blamed...without being told immediately...
and I would also have no way to save my butt because it would just seem like I am defending my action if I start explaining.
and it wouldn't help one bit that I had no say in anything whatsoever so far...

Love this song...Sometimes love just ain't enough.

I dont wanna lose you,
I dont wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And I dont wanna hate you
I dont wanna take you
But I dont wanna be the one to cry
That dont really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust
Theres a reason why people dont stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just aint enough

Now I could never change you
I dont wanna blame you
Baby you dont have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking somethings gonna change

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust
Theres a reason why people dont stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just aint enough

And there's no way home
When its late at night and youre all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart they cant touch.
Theres a reason why people dont stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just aint enough.
Baby sometimes love just aint enough.

Turning point

How do people make decisions??
I don't even know anymore.
I used to be much more decisive than I am...
Was I not considerate enough,
thus,
could make decisions quickly based on a few factors?
Perhaps...
I've always thought that I am a considerate person
and that I always think in other people's shoes...
but apparently...
No.
or at least, not enough.
It's time I should really re-evaluate myself,
and the things I do...
and then, make out something about what to do next..
that is, hopefully, beneficial for all parties...
(is that ever even possible?)
this decision is definitely going to make my a huge difference in the rest of my life.....
wish me luck...

Kamakura

Salsa for the first time!

No, not the salsa with tortilla chips....
Salsa dancing!
Went to a club called El Cafe Latino in Roppongi last night..and tried salsa for the first time in my life...
it was amazing!
very difficult though...i kept stepping on my own sandals and other people's feet...
but after a while, the DJ put on a mix of the usual clubbing songs and salsa and some other types of music, so we just danced like crazy!
Loved it...
didn't sleep for the night, went and taught a private lesson at 10 in the morning, then went to play badminton at 2 clubs!
I think I've officially broken my record of staying up the longest time and doing the most things at the same time..
guess I am gonna crash now... ;p

Boracay's beach

Under the sun

At sunset

Just after sunset

One day on the beach, at around sunset, a wedding began.
In fact, a marriage began.
The bride and the groom took pictures before the beautiful sunset with changing colors
Such a wonderfully arranged wedding..
Their friends and family had dinner on the beach
Relaxing, but meaningful at the same time
to find that special someone
and to have our friends and family witness the love on such a beautiful site
Simply amazing...

你和我

我不能沒有你
但也不能和你在一起
你必定會說
親愛的
妳必須學會放手
沒有人可以什麼都擁有
妳只能衡量妳需要的，和對妳重要的
然候做個妳不會後悔的選擇
勇敢往妳想要走的方向前進
不要回頭。

多嘗試多挑戰！！

好久沒上來了...
前陣子的生活太平淡了，上來也沒話說.

但四月底的旅行實在讓我大開眼界..
在台灣的幾天和姐姐逛街逛瘋了
還和兩個朋友見面了.

一個是從高中就認識的人.
和他出去了一天，聊東聊西的，
當然還說到以前的事
沒辦法不說不想，
畢境那是十幾二十歲的事
幾乎很多的第一次都是跟他和他的朋友們一起的
很開心，很輕鬆的一天
因為跟他聊天可以讓自己的看法放寬一些
但仍然很舒服，不會有壓力。

另一個是很神奇在網路上認識了五六年
但今年第一次見面的人
跟他和他女朋友去山上和農場走走，
吃了個飯
到最後原來他們準備了生日蛋糕
為我慶祝生日
真的很感動
因為我們只是第一次見面
不過，雖然是第一次，
但感覺並不陌生
有點像是很久以前就認識的感覺。

在台灣總共待了四天，
但在菲律賓的十天才真的精彩
除了在馬尼拉的幾天，跟一些朋友去了一個叫做Embassy的club
跟他們打羽毛球, squash, 去rock climbing
還去了菲律賓七千多個島的其中兩個
在Boracay的三天
我們住在很舒服的地方，就在白沙前
不會游泳的我嘗試了第一次的parasailing和浮潛
感覺好棒！
parasailing的感覺很舒服，就在高高的地方看著白白的沙灘的風景
浮潛就在海上一邊飄著，一邊發現海底的生物
我以為那已經很漂亮
但在另一個島Palawan上，我還去了第一次的潛水！
還因為太漂亮了，早上去了一次之後，下午再去了一次!
在１３，１４米深的海底，看到了好幾隻海龜，還可以餵牠吃東西，幫牠抓背
牠們很善良，當你抓牠的背的時候，牠們因為感覺很舒服
所以臉上會像掛著笑容一樣的乖乖給你抓，順便說謝謝.
除了海龜，我們還看到了一見人就躲了起來的八爪魚，
Ｎemo裡面的小丑魚，
各種各樣的珊湖
還有上百的silverjack圍繞著我們
在水裡尋找這些的時候，因為只聽的見自己呼吸的聲音和水泡的聲音
所以很特別
好像什麼都不用管了的感覺
不知道怎麼形容才好，但一定要親身體驗才會了解
東京太吵了！我已經想要再去那安靜的海底了！

在我們住的島上，還看到蝙幅
怪怪的，不知道為什麼牠們會選我們住的resort去待

經過這次，我以後都不要叫累或叫怕了
如果因為會累或怕，而錯失了一些作新嘗試的機會
那一定會後悔！
因為這難忘的經驗，我以後一定要多嘗試！
Next up: conquer snowboarding, and try wakeboarding! (^_~)v

神奇的羽毛球

日本的羽毛球賽的等級好像很不規則..
新宿區的分四部；一部是最高等級的，四部是最初級的。
豐島區的分六級；中野區的只有分三級。
前兩天去了板橋區看他們一部的男雙和女雙..
很精彩，看的害我比他們還緊張，不認識的也為他們打氣。
看完的那天和第二天我都去打球了，
不知道是對手沒有很強還是我突然神奇的進步了...
兩天打的都好順手，也很少失誤。
我想大概是看了那些比賽學會了什麼吧~^^
而且原本還沒打的時候全身酸痛，
還想說完蛋了，待會一定會打不好><
結果打了幾球身體就完全沒事了！
身體不好的女生一定要試試..
一個周末下來身體沒酸痛了而且心情變好加自信上升！(^_____^)V

有過的幸福

很久沒有那種覺得自己很幸福的感覺了
第一次在感情路上覺得很幸福的時候
其實只是很單純的一聲hello
那是第一次。
很喜歡那個人，而剛好他也喜歡我，
跟著他的兩個好朋友害羞的慢慢的在我面前走過
跟我說了一聲hi
這樣就開心了一天了
在之後光是跟他在大太陽下在他家的附近閒逛
也是無限幸福

再來
我喜歡的人跟我說，
因為他家庭的背景
他發誓不讓女生哭
那時候，我覺的自己是最幸福的
因為我遇到一個覺得“男人不該讓女人流淚”的人

然後
另一個我喜歡的人
在我感冒時跟我說“要多喝開水多休息哦”
讓我覺得我被關心
很窩心

還有
一個跟我在香港過了一個聖誕節的人
把我送到家門後再自己坐火車地鐵過海回家
這讓我知道他必定會願意為我做更多
我唯一喜歡過的香港男生，
讓我知道香港還是有希望的！

後來
遇到一個以前愛過的人
遇到之後我們互相通信了好一陣子
透過文字，我們知道了大家都會永遠記住對方的好
有個人永遠記得你的好
當然是最幸運的
現在不確定他在台灣還是大陸還是溫哥華
但我還是不能忘記他
我的每天作息都會用到他的名字呢！

還有另一個人
他一天到晚會說我可愛
雖然他常常忙的沒有時間陪我
但因為他對他的目標的執著
因為他樂觀的個性
因為他願意努力而且不會埋怨
讓我知道他是個可靠而且會讓我成長自立的人
這樣也是種幸福吧

還有一個朋友們最搞不懂的
說真的我也不懂這是什麼感覺
也不知道到何年何月才會真的在我這邊結束
但他絕對是讓我覺得最幸福的

記得在天冷的時候
他會把我和另一個朋友送回家
但他一定會把他穿的暖暖的外套給我
而且不管其他人住那裡
我一定會是最後在他車上的人
跟他單獨相處幾分鐘
他也會在我哭過之後
第一個住意到我的眼睛而問候我
他總會在附近
不管有什麼事情發生
他就像個守護天使
在最近的幾年一直讓我覺得不管有什麼事情
我都可以不用怕
因為有他在

但最近已經沒有了這種幸福的感覺了
我想，也不會再有了
而且也不能再任性的已為這些都還在了．．

我需要一帖給我自信的藥

每個禮拜天固定報到的羽毛球酷拉部的水平實在不是我能挑戰的
每次辛辛苦苦的打也不一定會贏
雖然那樣很刺激
但多在那裡打害我自信都不見了
覺得自己一點用都沒有
所以今天換個地方換個心情
打算去兩年前剛到日本時去過的地方
去跟一些水平和我比較接近的人打
還有去欺負一下比我爛的人
哈哈~
相信今晚回來就可以大聲說
我是個大贏家！^^

The wonders of airbrushing

See for yourself how much lies the media has put into editorials,ads,etc...Check out the portfolio of this company...

重聽舊歌一首

不知道為什麼唱這首歌的人不見了
但這首歌是讓我每次聽到都忍不住懷念起十年前的生活的歌
點一下這裡聽聽囉

我愛你勝過這世界
曲︰黃國倫
詞︰MICHAEL

他傷透妳的心　憂傷的妳
讓我陪妳一起哭泣
我一直沒離開　我的心情
跟著妳起伏分不開
哦　所有的呼吸　都變成妳
妳的眼淚　我永遠都珍惜

如何告訴妳　我愛妳勝過這世界
妳是我永遠的寶貝
有了妳我生命才有意義

如何告訴妳　我愛妳勝過我自己
空等候我也不放棄
當妳回頭就會明白一切
我要妳自由自在的飛

哦　所有的心跳　都愛著妳
妳的笑容　就是我的明天

Satsuki

Satsuki is a 4-year-old tiny little girl with a head too big for her body, small eyes, but the sweetest heart and smile in the whole world.
She became my student when she was almost 3 years old...I taught her for a year and a half but at the end of last year, she had to move to another area of tokyo, so she had to stop her classes. On her last day, her mom got me a gift which Satsuki chose. It was a mug with little animals all around, some of which are cats. Her mom said that the reason she chose the mug was because she remembered I like drawing cats and that I probably like cats. It's funny because after having taught kids for a while, I found one interesting thing about kids. They never look at the big picture. They always notice the tiniest detail. So I'm sure on the day she went and chose the mug, there must have been other mugs with bigger cats drawn on them, but she chose this particular mug with tiny tiny cats. (does it have to do with her tiny eyes spotting tiny things? I don't know....) ...so on the last day, she gave me the mug, and she gave me so many hugs before she finally left the school. That was in mid-December 2005.

Yesterday, when I got back to school from my break, I saw her and her mom at the school! It was such a surprise....she didn't say much though. Her mom, instead, became her mouth...and told me every wednesday (the day she usually came to my lessons), Satsuki would wanna see me. It was so sweet (though it would have been much better if it came from Satsuki's mouth and not her mom's)...but still...it was nice seeing her...she was quiet and shy, well-behaved as usual. I told her I miss her, and that i'd like to see her again, although she probably didn't understand much of that....and we said goodbye.

I started going back to my classroom, but Satsuki came back! She ran back to me with open arms for a hug....I was so touched! She was such a sweet kid........awwww.....I love her....She's probably the only person in Tokyo who would miss me and who would want a hug from me so much that she'd come back from the elevator just to let me know how much she misses me with her hug in return.

Satsuki, I love you!^^

Start of 2006

This is no good...
only 2 months have passed since my last post and I feel 5 years older ><
every part of me feels old!
I blame it on having no badminton last weekend...so hopefully after this weekend of playing some badminton, I can get better everywhere...
if not, then obviously these symptoms of me getting old didn't come from my lack of exercise on one weekend...it either came from always exercising only on the weekend, or bad posture, or bad diet, or that I'm really getting old....
shiiish! touchwood! knock knock...